*Title refers somewhat obscurely to the South Korean drama Hotelier. Yes, I watch K-drama on occasion. Yes, you can make fun of me for it.
WARNING: The following post is one of those “crown freakin’ princess of snark” posts. Let it be known that this is what you get when you imply a lack of lavish gifts means my boyfriend isn’t worth it.
Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of comments from strangers on a necklace the boyfriend gave me for my birthday a couple years ago. Most of these exchanges go something like this:
Stranger: That’s a really pretty necklace!
Me: Oh, thanks!
Stranger: Where did you get it?
Me: My boyfriend made it for me.
Stranger: (in awe) He made it?
Me: Well, he didn’t stand over a forge or anything, but he picked out all the pieces and put it together himself.
Stranger: (looks slightly disappointed, slightly pitying) Oh.
In fact, a little while ago, I got an “Oh, yeah, you can get that charm anywhere.” Her tone and facial expression made her implications clear: my boyfriend doesn’t care about me though he got me a charm that means something to me, just because it’s mass-produced.
I’m sorry, ladies. I’m sorry that I’m forcing you to feel frustration that I won’t let myself feel, because clearly, this is something that upsets me. I’m sorry that my boyfriend is not giving me my due, that he doesn’t regularly buy me expensive jewelry and a dozen roses every three days so that they stay fresh. I’m sorry that I suffer this in silence, wearing a token of affection just to make him happy while clearly burning with shame on the inside.
Oh wait, no, I’m not.
You know, I really don’t give a damn. My boyfriend has much better things to do than stand over a forge for hours, let alone become a metal smith in the first place. He picked out the components of this necklace with me in mind, and that’s all that matters. Hell, I don’t really like expensive gifts. I’m always scared I’m going to lose or break them, so what use are they to me?
My boyfriend takes the time to figure out what gifts I want. It doesn’t matter how inexpensive they are—what matters is that he puts his heart into it, and I’d rather have something meaningful over something expensive any day.
I love this necklace. I love that the clasp is impractical and that it tries to fall off almost every time I wear it. I love that it gets stuck in my hair. I love that it’s silver and not gold. I love the pendant. I love that it’s not ostentatious. I love that, by keeping it close to my heart, I can keep my boyfriend close to my heart.
And, in my own incredibly snarky, self-serving, and quite likely more than slightly delusional way, I love feeling like our relationship is so awesome that some people just don’t get it.