So, homework ate my weekend. Seriously, I spent 18 hours on an assignment that, all told, really needed only about 2 or 3 hours worth of tweaks, because I was using the wrong metric. Never again. So, I’ll be posting a bit more frequently over the next few days, starting with this fun little mixed bag of snark.
In response to the “pastor” in this article about not having to tip because she already tithes:
I’m pretty sure it’s as Godly an act to skip out or skimp on tithing in order to help someone pay their bills (granted, I don’t know the waiter’s circumstances), and even more so to go that extra mile when you do tithe 10%. Just sayin’. Also, it was an automatic gratuity.
Follow-up: Apparently, the pastor was ashamed and embarrassed (that she got caught, apparently, and not that she was a complete jerk)… so it makes perfect sense that she asked for everyone involved to be fired, right? Way to make enemies and bring a bad name to your religion, lady. If you don’t want to be embarrassed on the internet, don’t be rude to someone with a smartphone. (Also, being mean right back, no matter how much you think someone deserves it, generally isn’t a good way to keep your job. If you would like to make a joke about it, make that clear, or risk losing your job.)
In response to women planning their weddings years in advance and with no romantic attachment:
Do what you want to do. I’m wishy-washy enough that I’m sure I won’t be able to decide on some things when that time comes for me, and I’m not terribly nitpicky about details. I do think the way this is portrayed creates negativity and the unrealistic view that all of these women are obsessed with getting married ASAP. They just want to have it their way. (Though that’s something I object to; what if the groom—or bride, as I’m sure this can’t be just straight women—wants something in there that you just can’t deal with?)
In response to the guy sending his dog to be euthanized because he thought it was gay (The dog has since been rescued, apparently):
Uh, you do know that dogs (especially unneutered ones—though it’s unclear what this little guy’s status is) hump things, right? Would you turn your dog in if he humped a table? If he humped a lady’s leg? If he humped a guy’s leg? (I’m unfortunately guessing yes on that last one.) Also, you do know that dogs like to romp and you probably just saw it at an inopportune time for the poor dog. Glad you’re no longer his owner.
In response to Tennessee’s reintroduction of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill:
Well, guess you’ve gotta pull artificial insemination, egg donation, and surrogacy off the table, too. That’s not natural human reproduction, either. *eye roll* Also, plenty of straight people get married who don’t intend to/are entirely unable to have kids. Should talking about them not be allowed, as well?
In response to the DJ who kept a woman with Down Syndrome on-air after it was clear she’d called the station as a mistake:
Maybe it’s that I went to schools with kids who have Down Syndrome, but I find the speech pattern of those with Down Syndrome pretty unmistakable, even knowing other kids with plain old speech impediments. Yeah, the speech can be hard to understand, but whether she or anyone else has difficult-to-understand speech, calling it a “game” to try and decipher what they have to say is rude. Honestly, why you would put—let alone keep—on-air someone who called the wrong number and wants to hang up in the first place is beyond me.
In response to an attempt to replace swearing with misogyny at a New Jersey high school (because apparently boys are a hopeless case and need the tenderness of the fairer sex in order to better their behavior):
“It’s unattractive when girls have potty mouths,” noted Nicholas Recarte, 16. A pitcher on the school’s baseball team, Nicholas said he can’t help shouting obscenities from the mound after mishaps. He said he didn’t expect that to change.
While you’re at it, tell the ladies that they totally deserve leers and other harassment! Y’know what—why don’t we just kick ‘em all out of school? They can’t possibly get into trouble if they aren’t educated and never leave their homes! There is a time and a place for swearing, and for a lot of teens, that’s everywhere and all the time because these words are so novel and they haven’t figured out quite how to articulate what they’re feeling in more constructive ways. It happens. They’ll grow out of it without this stupid double-standard being imposed, I promise. (Also, “potty mouths”? Really? Are we seven now, honey? Oh, wait; you openly admit you swear, too!)
In response to people being complete asses because someone cosplays as something they’re not (The writer herself does not seem to do this, but she has been the target of this, and I think she responds to it rather succinctly, but I want to throw in my two snarky bits.):
Welp, girls, we all need to stop “crossplaying” (dressing up as guys, and guys as girls). Also, we can’t dress up as characters other than human. Because cosplaying is all about dressing up as what you are, and not at all about using your imagination to become someone you probably aren’t.